*Insert Catchy Title Here*

Yeah, I’m over here now.

That is all.

Happy Birthday, Carter…

The other day I was going through Carter’s closet and tossing shirts that no longer fit, were missing buttons (I’m ashamed to admit I throw away shirts that are missing buttons) (stop judging me), and were covered with grass stains, and as I was going through the shirts lying on the floor of his closet and shaking them free of dust and dog hair (again, stop judging me) and attempting to hang them up again, I realized that the shirts that littered the floor of his closet were not there as a result of his laziness, but because his clothes no longer fit the small hangers I had been using for years. I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling as though time had hit me over the head with a frying pan as I folded outgrown t-shirts and carefully packed them in a cardboard box to be taken to the nearest consignment shop.

I find it hard to believe that it was ten years ago today that I called my mom in the middle of the night in a panic because I wasn’t sure if my water had broken or I had peed my pants.

“What if I wake up Mark and tell him I’m in labor and it turns out I HAD WET MY PANTS! I would DIE!”

The years since that day have passed by in a blur, and I often find myself wondering what happened to the little boy who would crawl into my lap asking me to read him a story and fall asleep before I had even finished the book. It seems like only yesterday that Carter, after watching me do a back handspring on the trampoline, stared at me with a look of awe and facination and spent the rest of the summer telling his friends, “Dude, my mom’s a Power Ranger!”.
It takes a lot more than a back handspring to impress him nowadays and unless I set myself on fire and baked brownies in the flames, I don’t think he’ll ever look at me again with such amazement the way he did that day in the backyard… he’s growing up, and even though I sometimes miss the little boy who used to empty his toybox and crawl inside to take a nap, I love the young man he’s becoming just as much as I loved the little boy he used to be.

Happy Birthday, Carter.

Merry (Belated) Christmas

I wanted to post sooner- if for no other reason than to bury the post beneath this- but life has been a bit hectic lately. Mark and I and the kids celebrated Christmas early this year and three days later we left for Michigan to spend the holidays with family.

The kids had a lot of fun opening presents (I know, it’s crazy… who knew?) and were happy with everything that Santa Claus brought them. I think they were only being polite because Santa Claus brought them educational toys, books, and underwear (geez, Santa’s such a downer), but fortunately Mark and I came through with video games, remote controlled airplanes, a wooden train track, Play-Doh, and Airsoft guns (something I bought for them in a moment of weakness, forgetting the time my dad was young and aimed a BB gun at my aunt’s foot and told her to dance… she wasn’t quick enough and he shot her point blank in the foot) (I give Gage and Carter six months before one of them pulls the same stunt).

Carter has wanted an Air Hog remote controlled helicopter forever (translation: six months), so Mark and I finally (I have no idea where Carter has inherited his dramatic personality… heh) bought him one… his Havoc Heli is easily his favorite present and even though he had a hard time in the beginning (Macy still hasn’t come out from underneath our bed), he’s gotten a lot better and can now fly his helicopter through the house and land on the ceiling fan. We also bought him Guitar Hero so let me know if you’d like tickets when Aerosmith kicks off their next tour (he’ll be the one in the back telling the groupies to stop calling him and trying to give Steven Tyler a wedgie)… I have connections.

Gage wanted to be an only child for Christmas, but that ship has sailed so he had no other choice than to settle for Spore (a computer game) and Brisingr (the third and final book in the Inheritance trilogy. I buy each of the boys at least one book every year for Christmas because I’m hoping to pass on my love of reading to at least one of my kids, if not all three… it would be nice if they would inherit something of myself other than my height and biting sarcasm)… Gage loves to read (score!) so he finished reading the book before we pulled into the driveway after driving home from Michigan.

Ryerson has wanted everything he’s seen on tv for the past three months (seriously, Ryerson… the Sham Wow?) but Mark and I needed to draw the line somewhere so we went with the Leapster thinking he would love being able to play something along the lines of the Nintendo DS but age appropriate. It isn’t that he doesn’t have fun playing Go, Diego, Go: Animal Rescue and Finding Nemo, but I think he’s more impressed with the $4 tube of Play-Doh that I bought as an afterthought as opposed to the $60 educational video game system I searched one month and two stores to find.

Mark and I wanted the kids to have a few days to play with their new toys before we left to drive to Michigan, so we left early Tuesday morning. I had thought Mark and I had an understanding that if driving conditions looked to be at all life threatening, we wouldn’t leave until Wednesday morning. Apparently deals were made to be broken and what is usually a 7 1/2-8 hour drive took us 12 hours (yes, count them… TWELVE) (I’m very bitter… nearly losing my life in a head on collision tends to make me irritable). You would have thought that seeing as we were driving in freezing rain before we even made it out of town would have made Mark stop and think, “Hmmm… maybe we shouldn’t leave today”, but he insisted that it wouldn’t last long.

I’m not normally one to pass up the opportunity to say “I told you so”, but I managed to restrain myself only because Mark was feeling guilty enough as it was without me saying “I told you so” every time we passed some poor sucker in a ditch (instead I suggested to Mark that we count the number of times we used the anti-lock brake system to pass the time- ya’ know… FOR FUN- and wondered out loud if I was going to be banned at the gates of Heaven for the time I closed the door in the face of a Jehovah’s Witness), and I like to think I’m a good person.

I’m not sure it was worth risking our lives for, but we did have a great time in Michigan. It had snowed a lot the week before so the kids were able to play in “real” snow (as opposed the “fake” snow in Kentucky) and as much as I hate the snow, it was great watching them make a snow fort and being able to make a decent snowball without having to scrape off a layer of ice first. We spent Christmas Eve with Mark’s family playing games and taking bets on whether or not Rick would fall asleep (Rick is Mark’s brother and has spent a lot of time behind a snowplow lately). The kids were thrilled to finally see their cousins Jordan, Torie, and Jakob, and we were able to see family we hadn’t seen in a long time (hi, Aunt Karen… your Strawberry Pecan Salad was just as good as I remembered). We went to my dad and stepmom’s house on Christmas day and the kids spent the afternoon sledding… Gage and Carter lasted for quite a while but Ryerson only lasted fifteen minutes until he lost his boot in the snow (he wasn’t nearly as impressed with snow after that). They spent the night that night and had fun playing in the hot tub and peeing in the snow (something Grandpa always lets them do when I’m not around). Friday we spent the afternoon with my mom and her fiancee opening presents and making wedding plans (I have a feeling she’s going to make me wear something fuschia and covered in bows just to pay me back for all the times I snuck out of the house when I was in high school).

In spite of the wonderful time, it’s good to be home… we came home after spending a week in Michigan and we haven’t done much of anything since then. As much as I love the holidays, I wish Mark and I would have taken the season into consideration when planning our wedding… our anniversary was December 30th, but the two of us were too exhausted to celebrate. We had talked about hiring a babysitter and going out to dinner, but because of everything going on, neither one of us remembered to call our neighbor to babysit. Mark has been nothing but a fantastic husband and father and deserves more than a Marie Callendar’s chicken pot pie and two prerecorded episodes of the television series’ Fringe to commemorate the day we were married thirteen years ago, so this weekend I’m going to make it up to him by serving him a romantic dinner by candlelight and wrapping myself up with a bow and some glitter.

Because I’m a good wife. Wink.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Wear Sweatpants And Go Without Make-Up *BAM*!!!… You’re Memed

Tonight Mark and I were watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall (full frontal would have been so much hotter had it been Brad Pitt rather than Jason Segel… just sayin’) and I noticed I was tagged by Seriously Mama and Daddy Joe for a meme. Life has been a bit dull lately and a meme was just the thing I needed to jump start an otherwise slow blog fodder day, so I was thrilled to see I maybe I had something to post today after all.

I went on to read the rules and was dumbfounded… what did I do to piss them off?

1) Take a picture of yourself right NOW!
2) DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair… Just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instruction with your picture.
5)Tag 10 people to do this..

Luckily today was a good day… any other day I would have been mortified, but today my hair- thanks to John Frieda Brilliant Brunette- was especially shiny and lustrous and I had just gone to the dry cleaners this afternoon to pick up my matching feather trimmed thong and bra set. We also have a runway for such occasions (you never know when Victoria’s Secret is going to call needing a last minute photo shoot… jeez, it’s like my time isn’t my own anymore) so I gave Mark the camera and proceeded to do my little turn on the catwalk.

Okay, not really, but it was worth a shot, although Mark did in fact take the picture… the following picture was taken moments after he said, “C’mon, honey, gimme a little flash of booby!”

Normally I would LOVE to pass along this meme (misery loves company and it would be nice knowing I wasn’t the only one who was forced to post a picture of themselves looking like total shit) but today I’m filled with the Christmas spirit (we celebrated Christmas with the boys yesterday because we’re going to be spending the holidays in Michigan… stay tuned. I haven’t had time to write a post detailing our morning with the boys because, well, I’ve been busy. Playing Donkey Kong Country and removing dog hair from the propellers of an Air Hog helicopter takes time, people)… happy freakin’ holidays.

Snow Day(s)

This post is going to be short and sweet (which is unusual for me… I’m usually very wordy) because I need to stay sharp… Gage and Carter are home from school today for the third full day in a row because OH MY GOSH IT SNOWED THREE WHOLE INCHES Monday and the kids are determined to destroy the house and my sanity along with it (will someone please explain to Carter that giving me atomic wedgies while I’m cleaning is not funny?)(okay, maybe it is a little) just for fun.

Gage and Carter are thrilled… they’ve gotten up early the past three days and have spent most of the day outside. Snow is rare and we still have our sleds/snowboards that we brought with us when we moved (both of which haven’t been used very much since we moved) so they’ve spent the better part of every day outside sledding.

I’ve never seen Ryerson so happy… he LOVES the snow! I hate keeping him inside so I’ve bundled him up as much as I can considering he doesn’t own a pair of snow pants or boots and hope for the best (take note of the gloves he’s wearing in the photo to your left… yeah, the gloves are actually Carter’s. The poor child doesn’t even own a pair of mittens… epic mommy FAIL) he doesn’t seem to mind the wet and I’ve had to bribe him with candy or frostbite to make him come in the house.

It’s been a while since I’ve taken pictures (hence the lack of Weekly Winners posts) so yesterday I took advantage of the fact that all three kids were playing together and having fun OUTSIDE and took as many
pictures as I could before my fingers went numb. Enjoy the pictures and until next time… that’s all ya’ll.

PS I still don’t understand why school is cancelled… it hasn’t snowed in two and a half days and most of the snow HAS MELTED ALREADY! The roads are CLEAR! PUHLEASE! I grew up in Michigan… I’ve laid out in worse than this.

PSS Note to self: Must remember to buy Ryerson mittens when we go back to Michigan for the holidays.