The Shit Storm of ‘08

When I woke up Sunday morning, it was just like any other day … Gage and Carter were arguing over who got the last cinnamon roll, Ryerson was watching Spongebob with one hand hovering dangerously close to The Promised Land, and Mark was… well, I’m not sure what he was doing, but seeing as it was Sunday, I’m sure it involved Nascar.

I sat down in front of the computer to begin “tweaking” my Weekly Winners post and then it happened… disaster struck.

We lost power.

Because Mother Nature has apparently been feeling a bit bitchy, Sunday we spent most of the day inside watching the trees outside our house, hoping any one of them wouldn’t fall on our house. Eventually we did lose one, but as luck would have it, the tree fell into the neighbors yard (sucks to be him) and our lives were spared (maybe that’s stretching it a bit but I’m allowed to be dramatic… we were without power for 13 hours. I’m still a bit edgy). I’m not usually bothered by storms (unless it’s at night and Mark is out of town, but to be honest everything scares me at night when Mark is out of town) but believe me, it was hella scary. When I stepped into the shower Sunday afternoon and noticed the tree outside our bathroom leaning dangerously close to the house, I said a prayer.

“Please, God, don’t let me die here in the shower, naked and covered in Suave Sweet Pea and Violet.”

Mark walked into the bathroom at one point and started bitching because the floor was wet. I had to explain to him that every time I heard a “weird noise”, I had to step out of the shower to see what was going on… luckily our neighbors are a ways away, otherwise they would have gotten an eyeful.

After the shit wind storm had passed, Mark and I went for a drive because, well, we’re nosy. I counted three or four houses who now have skylights, courtesy of a fallen tree, there was a small fire at the middle school, and most of the town was without power. Eleven people were hospitalized and we’re now under a State of Emergency because our water plant is still without power.

Yesterday the kids didn’t have school so I spent most of the day cleaning up what Mother Nature left behind. I got as far as the back yard and I had to call it a night when I broke the lawn mower and almost lost my eye in the process. Because we have such a narrow front yard, our front lawn is now covered with the leftover debris left there by me and the men we hired to clean up the mess (because we live within city limits, the city will clean it up as long as it’s left by the road). I’m tired, and sore, and extremely cranky because our back yard is still somewhat of a mess and Mark left for work this morning with strict instructions for me not to touch any power tools.

I didn’t listen… I never do. Now I sit here wondering how pissed Mark’s gonna be when he comes home and I tell him I may or may not have broken our brand new leaf blower.

I think I can get off on a technicality… a leaf blower isn’t technically a “power tool”.